Saturday, December 15, 2007

A Little Bit of Ghetto Gospel

I Am Legend

"The last man on earth is not alone."

Director: Francis Lawrence
Writers (WGA): Mark Protosevich (screenplay) and Akiva Goldsman (screenplay)

Release Date: 14 December 2007

Genre: Action / Drama / Fantasy / Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller more
I Am Legend the Action/ Drama/ Fantasy/ Horror/ Sci-Fi/ Thriller (say that in three times fast) starring Will Smith, premiered to the world yesterday. I sat in the 4:30 showing at the Pearl amongst the good people of North Philadelphia, and the students of Temple University. Despite the obnoxiousness of one part of the crowd and the excessive tenderness of the other I was able to take a good look at this film. Having just seen Beowulf (which is hit or miss depending on your love for epic poetry) I came into this movie a bit skeptical. Hollywood blockbusters just ain’t what they used to be. And now with the writers of Hollywood on strike, causing all our favorite shows, to end abruptly mid season with random tornadoes, and good lovable characters getting whacked (as they would say in Sopranos), the spotlight is on the film industry that some say is scheduled to slow down in the near future as well. I Am Legend is the story of Robert Neville, a one and a billion general/scientist/Olympic trainer-esque who is immune to the virus that has caused NYC and most of the world to either die or turn into vampire zombies. Throughout the movie we follow him and his dog try to make a living alone in the world during the day, and at night we flash back to the events of his life that brought him there. I Am Legend is a film, not a movie. It’s action sequences are to keep the attention of the squirrel generation that can’t sit still 2 hrs without texting, playing Tetris, or making out, but it’s attempt is to be inspiring. However I believe it’s only lacking area, is how obvious this is. There is a difference between a film that is inspiring and one that is trying to be inspiring, and it’s never good to appear to be trying to be anything; that makes you a poser.
I won’t tell you to see or not see it.

First Date Don'ts:
First off, a first date is any arrangement where you and an interested partner of the opposite sex engage in a series of 3 or more hours of interaction where prime focus is each other.

  1. Don't talk about your X: or how we have similar names, or how she reminds you about what your X so much, or about how this is where the two of you used to go, no one wants to live in your X's shadow, and no one's trying to hear that shit.
  2. Don't talk about school OD: yes we're students, yes we have majors, those are back up questions. Hopefully your date is not their major, if they are more power to them, but if after you chitty-chatty about neuro-science be able to carry a conversation about something more entertaining than the weather.
  3. Don't get shit faced: Everyone knows your a four beer queer, 8 beers never impresses anyone if it leads you to the toilet. Now, I'm not saying that true love isn't holding someone's hair back for them, but do you want to test that on the first date?
  4. Fella's Don't Smell: Smell is mad important. Yes "mad" important. "OD" important. Smell is tied very strongly to memory. If you're going to be shit faced, yap about school and your X, you could at least be great to stand next to, scratch and sniff.
  5. Ladies Don't Pasty Face: Pasty face is when everyone but you can tell that you may have put on a little too much make-up. Hey, we've all seen enough America's Next Top Model to know that anyone can be Giselle with the right stylist. We want to impress, but we don't want to appear like we're trying to be impressive. Get it right, Get it tight, but don't get it twisted.

These are just a few things i keep in mind. If I'm off base: tell me. If I missed some vitals: tell me that too.

As always its your boy Magic aka Mr. No he didn't aka Mr. He must be kiddin' aka what's with all the aka's!

Be Safe Be Happy God Bless

1 comment:

Ashley said...

Yo also, on a first date dont be inviting people to shit more than a couple weeks in advance...thats makin MAD ASSUMPTIONS. 1. that ull be seeing the other person on any other occasion other than tonight 2. that they have nuthin better to do wit themselves then plan their lives months in advance. 2 weeks max no concerts in feb when its august. its NOT a good look