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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Party Bus Much?

It's 10:15. The Bus Leaves at 10:30. Don't Miss the Bus!

Sexy can I?
Just pardon my manners,
But the way you shake it, got a playa saying "whoa"
It's a kodak moment
Hold on let me get my camera,
All I want to know is:
(-Ray J)
Sexy can I ?

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Or rather what would you do for a night in a moving bar acting like a movie star? That's right Philadelphia, I have reached adulthood. Do not be afraid the Sargent's youngest son is of age. Adulthood = adult content, Oh behave. Adulthood= mature audiences only, ooooo shut yo mouth. I normally don't like to celebrate myself, but this time it seemed more like a rite of passage than a high five for staying alive. Everyone expects you to bring in your personal New Year: 21; like some "yuppie alchy-hobo" who stalks from bar to bar proclaiming his own day of existence and trying to get people to buy him shots. Instead I celebrated with a handful of the closest and confidants, on a style of road trip, that is unknown to most. The ride itself was grasping(exotic lighting, provoking music, leather everything) but self-realization was reached in Times Square, the heart of New York City. Times Square, or the four cornered, sided area...of ALL TIMES! Where Dick Clark, kicks off the ball drop at the beginning of the New Year. Where now late night show host, Carson Daily, would point to my teeny bopped tween peers as I cut high school for some made up sickness. Flashing, lights (lights, lights, lights).

It was a slice of both sides of the pie: the superficial, and all that's ever held meaning. I was standing in the pinnacle of human creation. We were surrounded by 80 foot skyscrapers. We were glowing from the intensity of the neon advertising screens, and ticker signs. It felt: great. Intense Happiness. Connection with my friends and family, purpose in my movements, and not a care in the world. Where is this happiness? Does it reside in New York ,or on a bus called the Queen Evelyn? Is it inside of us, buried under the confusion, the hate, the grudges and foreboding of things to come? We went all out, true, but the x variable of the night was us. What were we going to do with this opportunity to live.

Letting Go
Lets face it, it's hard to let go. We have a hard time of releasing the people that we have loved and lost. So we sulk and cry focusing on why things can't be the way we want instead of moving on and looking toward the immense possibilities of the future. We have a hard time of releasing the wrongs that have been done against us. We rather choose bitter grudges where we make enemies and spend the rest of our future endeavors obsessed with evening some old score. Stuck inside the bittersweet annals of revenge. But mostly we have a hard time letting go of our selves. Lets face it, letting go of ourselves rarely ends up good right? Not to mention most people can only let go after binge drinking. When we give up control in our lives it is a beautiful feeling, not because we like to sputter out of control, but because we get to sit passenger side and enjoy as our lives become apart of something greater. For some of us this happens through music, for other's this happens in dance, and it's different for all. We all must come to grasps with the indisputable facts of how small we are. I think we all one day acknowledge that we never have as much control, in reality, over what we perceive we control in our own minds. Which means that taking a day off of the constant worry, and pressure, we choose to feel won't ruin your life. In fact, it may just be what you needed.

Check Yourself:
When was the last time you were completely happy?
What can you never forgive yourself for and why?
What would you think about if you didn't think about the things you hated?
When was the last time you lost control in a good way?

1 comment:

Ashley said...

When was the last time you were completely happy?...pretty sure never ive only been partially happy. theres always sumthin to complain about
What can you never forgive yourself for and why?...a bit personal no? lol
What would you think about if you didn't think about the things you hated?...damn sugar plums and fairy dust i suppose...no seriously probably the people i love
When was the last time you lost control in a good way?....jan 27 around 11pm but it ended promptly on jan 28th..i hate when u gotta sober up to help sum1 else out...

we never have as much control, in reality, over what we perceive we control in our own minds.....that shit rite there is sum of the realist shit ive heard in a while. i can't honestly say i kno when the last time i was completely happy was...duno if ive ever really been completely happy...i can remember really happy but complete? i just cant say that i have.