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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Grown Up and All

What’s it all for? You ever feel like you’re riding a slow train to a preset destination that never seems to get closer. Time flies but changes are slow and the surprises are seldom good. Sometimes I laugh because I feel a little old, young and strapping as truly I am; but still I remember when seventeen year old girls were game. I was a sucker for a sporty shorty with a big butt and smile; back when I used “get down, get down.” Seems like everything’s gotten so serious now and the rules have gotten both loose and tight. All the rights, responsibilities and, most importantly, respect that comes with being an adult is all mines now. I get to make decisions for myself, not to say that the decisions made for me when I was younger didn’t grant me tremendous opportunity. However we are all the kings and queens of our stories and the crown is heavy. Me, I’m a person for today and I rarely look back, but I think it’s important that we never lose sight of our past narratives so that we know how far we’ve come and how far we have yet to go. Shit, I’m a grown up now, and I’m enjoying doing grown up things but I'm never going to let that kid die. And on those days where I question everything and myself, I pick my head up and smile; I think of how good a ride it’s been so far and how much sweeter it’s going to be tomorrow. There is a lot of good and bad to look forward to but that’s life and living is the only thing I really know how to do. Life is dukkha; a flowing river of high tides and good times, but the easiest and most neglected form of self preservation is the smile at the end of it all because that’s really all you got and I’m going to keep smiling, grown up and all.

2 comments:

anu said...

word.

Narth Mallus the Reginald said...

Growing up

This peice has made me rather reflective right now funnie i'm not going to lie. One, I can hear that deep bass of your laugh, in my head. Two, I been lifting my head up to smile as well. I've been asking myself three questions a lot lately?

So what? ....And then? ....Why?

Mostly because I find when examining my life I tend to become a little to dire...a little too serious? for lack of a better word. But, you're right, we're old,young and strapping right now. We're the rugrats "all growed up". As the King of my life I've decided that for me the future will never be daunting.