Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Too Young to Love?

All my life i wanted love from anyone and everyone. I'm sure there are a million psychological reasons for this but I've always come up against one major obstacle: People tell me I'm too young to know what love is, or too young to settle down, or too young to do all kinds of things and it leads me to wonder...Is there an age on love? Is it true you have to be a certain age to truly know what love is?
Coming from a girl that's never been single longer than 8 months since the age of 12, and who has always supplemented the low times with sex, or as i call it the love band-aid, I've always believed the answer was "no". How could there possibly be an age on love? Would that not also mean once you reached the undefined age or number of experiences you would then know what to do and who to look for? Wouldn't it then also make sense to say once you "know what love is" and are "old enough" to appreciate love and you are finally "old enough to settle down" that you would get it right the first time? I mean you just came into this random pearl of wisdom about love so why are so many people divorcing for the 3rd time, single in their 60s, and no confirmed age on this supposed knowledge?
In my opinion love is an emotion like all others we learn about but never quite least not completely. If you don't have to be a certain age to get mad or to cry or to be happy why is love some untapped age restricted emotion? Doesn't make sense! You love your parents and grow an attachment and develop a relationship starting IN THE WOMB PEOPLE!!!!!
However, i will concede that expecirneces learned from failed relationships can help in making less mistakes in the next but man even when its good there are problems. People aren't perfect therefore emotions can't be perfect ergo relationships cannot be perfect regardless of what age and how much experience you've had. Unless you become a Buddha (there is more than one by the way) and you reach total enlightenment YOU ARE FLAWED. I mean I know that sounds harsh but it's true. With flaws come conflict and misunderstandings. Late nights... long days... it can suck hard!
But you can't tell me that when I fall asleep in my baby's arms all warm and soft on the couch and he strokes my hair and i rub his stomach that we aren't in many one night stands do you do that with? I venture to say none. There is a feeling in your gut that just screams THIS IS SO RIGHT when you're with someone you love. There is a smile that you cannot replicate that you seem to have even when you daydream....
Yea sounds sweet but here's the real deal. One of my favorite quotes is from the SUPER chick flick the wedding date, "...then i realized I'd rather be fighting with you then making love with anyone else" MAN if that isn't some true shit I don't know what is because if you can get into some knock down drag out verbal blood bath with someone walk out vow never to come back and can't make it back to your side of town before you call to your in love.
"Adults" think that because they are older then us they know more, but if I walked away from my bf the way my mother wanted me to I would have missed out on so much but she swore he wasn't ready, we needed time, I shouldn't settle. 3 years later...its still him and I. I think the younger you are the more pure your emotion. It's not diluted with bills, work schedules, women's ticking baby clock, or needing a financially efficient partner. No when your young and have minimal responsibilities and certainly don't owe nobody nuttin, so to speak, your true feelings can flourish cuz you have less to lose.
If this relationship doesn't work you don't have a house together, joint bank accounts, joint tax returns, and you aren't cosigners for all kinds of shit. You don't have kids and pets and his mother living in your basement.
If you ask me: Now is the time to find your love ! (Or at least what you want love to be for you.) Now is the time to sift thru the masses and take time with people. Now is when you should face rejection. Now is when you should learn to think past your sex drive and learn how to open your heart because it's harder when your older; You are less apt to change.
Don't ever let anyone tell you you are too young to love cuz people love is waiting all around you!


Narth Mallus the Reginald said...

Are we too young to love?

Shiiiiiiiiiii....t I just turned 21 I'm not too young to do anything. At least here in America. However, I think that a good portion of the stupid love incidents, and memorable love incidents and then stupid again, were done in my younger years. Alright, these are still my younger years, but still.

I do think that there is an age where its less likely that the people in that age group really understand love. However there are always those few individuals that get it early. We develop different. There are also those times when one person gets it and the other person doesn't.

For example, In HSchool, my good friend "friend" was dating another one of my good friends: "his girl". Friend and His girl were so deep into it, it was like 10th grade. They were way passed holding hands, and movies, they were on some sneaking over to have "sleep overs", and talking about baby names... Was it foolish? Were they ready? In the great words of soulja boy (Riggidy Rah Riggidy Rah Ah!) Thats all I gotta say about that!

anu said... First of all, I just want to say, this post= incredibly thought provoking. You have a really good point- if we can feel other emotions right from the get go, why not love?
It's crazy because...where I come from it's all like..."what's love got to do with it?" Seriously. My parents? Their idea is that "love grows with time". They knew each other for like..10 hours. And then bam. Wedding bells. It works and stuff, but it's so different.

And you know- maybe people just tell us about the whole love thing because as we get older, maybe we don't act with our emotions as much and maybe we can control them a little more? At least maybe we know why we do things. BUt maybe we don't want to do those things. I don't know.

I wonder if we'll ever know- you know? When we get older? Understand where they come from? Will we tell our kids the SAME thing?