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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fear

i know i haven't posted in awhile but i'd appreciate some love anyway

FEAR:

I’m afraid to love you
Afraid the next time I reach for you you’ll turn away
Afraid that the memory of your lips will fade
That I’ll never taste their sweetness again
I’m afraid that the next time I see you
My heart will beat out of my chest
Unable to contain how you consume me
Silent or subtle I’ve been for years
Unsure of where I stood
Unsure of where I fit in your world
But as time passes and people change
I find the only consistency is my desire for you
They say ask and you shall receive
I am longing to ask you
Patience is the virtue I have always lacked
Fear of the unknown has run rampant in my mind
All I’ve ever wanted is reciprocity
For you to stay with me
Just one night to let me hold you
I just want to feel you near me
I could be what you need
I don’t know how it would work
Where we would go
But how can you not be curious
The light shines on the other side of the moon
And I would move the heavens to create a space for your heart and mine
Tighter I feel my chest is getting
Every day that passes I wonder if you are remembering
How much you mean to me
I am afraid to love you
Afraid that if you know how much I feel
You will think it too much to take
Afraid that you wont tell me that you don’t feel the same
Even worse still you wont tell me if you do
Does your heart beat louder when the phone rings
Are you hoping that it’s me?
Does the hair on the back of your neck tingle
When you are sitting close to me
When I look into your eyes, watching you speak
Are you wondering when our lips will meet?
When our hands will clasp
When your breath reaches my neck
When my tongue reaches your breast
Do you wonder where I go when I’m not with you?
Do you wonder who I speak to when I am not speaking with you?
Are you scared to lose me?
Scared to love me
Are you afraid that it has all been a dream?
That our moment wasn’t real
That I don’t feel what you feel
Kiss me again
Let me hold your face in my hands one more time
Let me show you that you need to be mine
That I will cherish your heart with all that I have
That if you left tomorrow, never to come back
I would mourn the loss of you until the day i die
Infinite tears would be shed, on my pillow
Do not even bother asking why because you did this
You made this connection; I have not been able to shake it
You spend your time with these silly girls
And I am here trying to feign joy for you
Knowing they could never see the truth
That lies behind your eyes
They will never know how your voice changes when your smiling
Even over the phone, when your alone, and you don’t tell me
I can hear your smile and it makes me smile
Even if we were temporary the attempt would change my life
I would cross-oceans, climb mountains
Search the desert to find the key to your heart
I would hold it close to me
Let it become one with me
You are one with me
And yet I find myself afraid to love you
Afraid you won’t feel the same
Afraid one day you wont remember my name
Afraid there will be a new she to yet again replace me
I don’t want to miss a lover
Couldn’t bear to lose a friend
Do you trust me?
Because I think I’m diving in
Will you catch me?
Because I’ve been falling since the day we met
Can you see me?
Because since we kissed
I’ve been floating high above the clouds
Wondering how to say
I love you

7 comments:

Gracie said...

I love this. The feelings you share. Its very touching.

Anonymous said...

wow. this is beautiful

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Anonymous said...

its so beautiful! especially this part "And I would move the heavens to create a space for your heart and mine" congrats!!

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Giang said...

I love your peom

stuckinthemoment said...

i love this