Friday, April 1, 2011

Conversations in the Mirror (rough draft)

Hey all,

In attempting to reignite my precense in the blog and seeking some feed back I share this with you, i haven't had time to revise it yet so the more feedback the better!

Note: This was a free written poem. I started it and just kept writing. It is a rough draft. I have not proof read it and I may be revising it.

What did you think would happen
You’re an adult now
You can just play tag with your emotions
Every kiss means something to you
Harvest moon, hangs low in this winter sky
Blazing red like fire
It’s staring right at you
It seems to fill the sky
Reminding you how full your heart has become
Ignore it if you must
Keep swallowing your denial
He is the same as he’s always been
He means what he always meant
You are looking for real love
True love
He cannot give you what you have been seeking
But somehow, like a thief in the night
Like the curtains have been thrown open
Your stalwart heart, so certain he is not who your heart wants
Suddenly starts dancing to the beat of a different drum
All that careful questioning
That oversized seed of doubt you have planted
You have been working against yourself for so long
You haven’t known if you were just lonely or if you were feeling something real
How could this be real
How could you seek the comfort of a man who has never known you
You know him so well though
You know your eyes close every time he kisses you
You know you are surprised he still stays
You have been more than mean but you secretly want him to breathe you in
smell nothing but sweet love and loyalty
you have not even noticed the pool dwindling
you are comparing them to him
you keep forgetting to stop falling
you are stuck in a fantasy
Somehow you think you’re still in control
This fa├žade of weakness is laughable at best
You think somehow you have laid this issue to rest
He holds you willingly every chance he gets
He allows you to be cruel in return even if in jest
He kisses you so sweetly
With fervor unlike that you’ve ever seen
He holds your hand, open doors, and has never once been mean
He allows you to be you and still has the audacity
To think he may not be good enough for you
Has the inclination to be jealous
As if there are dozens of someone’s better than he
You are just waiting to be
Whisked away into one of their arms
As you lay so comfortable in his
You want him to respond to you as others have
So you can comfortable deny your heart
But while he is busy just being him
You are lost in you
Now you fear this leap you accidentally took
You are grasping at every solid thing in your path
Trying to reverse the actions you have put in motion
The moment will come when he’ll realize what has happened
He will turn from you as you had
Originally planned yourself
He will do what you now secretly fear
What will you do when he fails to love you back
What did you think would happen


Narth Mallus the Reginald said...

you can't even take this all in, in one sitting. well you made my facebook status. Maybe I should even tweet this, I don't even tweet.

Ashley said...

really? im honored!