Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Sex Life and It's Lack of Luster

Where to start? I guess at the beginning. I lost my virginity at 17, I must say that for a long while I was definitely a prude... poor guy. I waited 8 months before I let him hit that. My first time was at my house at around 5:43 A.M. on September 26th sadly yes I remember all the pitiful details. He showed up to my house with a cup of coffee and a box of condoms...I think this was his way of saying he was gonna get some or else! lol So it started.. I believe those were about the most painful 9 minutes of my life. He asked "Are you sure?" I said "Okay" ...because if you know me a YES is hard to come by. Anywho I nearly ripped my sheets off the bed while attempting to thrust my pelvis back and forth. Almost as soon as we started we were done.. I got showered, dressed, and went to school for 1st period gym. Probably my least productive gym class ever. From then on sex was scheduled for Monday mornings before school due to the fact that this was a long distance relationship and he had class Mondays at 10. Scheduled sex or "making love" as I thought of it at that point in life probably lead to the demise of that relationship. My second partner was a BIG guy, and I mean everywhere. I was in college and I waited a whole 2 years from my first partner to have sex again and I still believed it was all flowers and daisys. Shit I was naive. HE definitely showed me a diferent type of sex, i learned what FUCKING meant. I wanted him to accompany me to a formal and he did. Mid-formal he decided it was his opportunity to end things with me. I CRIED my eyes out but still managed to get some before the nights end. It was fucking hot, I figured shit why not go out with a bang. When he slipped away for a piss his phone rang. I looked at his screen and it said "WIFEY", and when it stopped ringing I looked at his recent calls I WAS SAVED AS "MYNAME CUZIN. " Cool beans. We had the same last name but no relation bitches. From that guy I learned if you're just fucking me it's probably because you're a BIG DICK!

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