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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Changes (a 6am blog about whats on my mind)

Today I showed up into work pretty upset about some stuff... For those of you who know me, my life in my town isnt really that great (the reasons why is a whole other blog post lol) but the thing that was bothering me at work was the fact that someone new, not even a week old, thinks they can come in and spread shit about me. Now back in the day, this would be a confrontation and the release of the ever so frightening "Pradosaurus Rex" (basically people say when i get angry, im loud and destructive lol), but since last summer, ive taken a new approaches to everything. so I decided, when i heard this news about this blabbering pest prior to this work day, that im gonna pull something new, which is going into work and ignoring her but being happy around everyone else. Now it was working i guess but its not really my style so idk how effective it was. I learned i prefer the whole "Pradosaurus Rex" routine. after like 30 mins i dropped the pissyness and got on with my work day

After work as my friend and I are leaving to go to chill, a car came, crashed into the parking lot and some kid got ejected from the car and slammed into a parked car... I was so sure he was dead. I have never seen someone die so i went into a daze (it is currently 6 am and i have no intention of sleeping). the driver was unharmed, but the fucking scumbag deserves hell for killing one of his friends and hospitalizing 4 of his other friends that were also in the car. Anyway, as the cops, EMTs and FD were doing theyre thing, I snapped out of my daze and came to a realization

Look, people suck... period, theyres no changing that. Being upset about some fucker talking shit is nothing. Those kids in the car, especially the dead one, do you really think it matters to them what people say about them, what rumors about them are currently going around, or even what girls they can and cannot get? hell no. they care about what just happened and what happens next. Right now i dont have anything positive or negative going on so i guess thats why i care about what the noob has to say but im gonna start looking at things a different way. What shit is so important that I have to cry about it? would it still matter if im hospitalized or fatally injured? will it effect my long term future (lets face it... the short term future is pointless to worry about)? If the answer is no then why the fuck am i gonna cry about it at all? Fuck the noob and its bullshit. block out the bullshit and act toward them like you didnt hear shit because hell yes i do know when its time for Pradosaurus Rex to get unleashed, but now I know when to keep him in his cage

Idk if ill ever be the same as I was before last summer... Im forever scarred by what happened to me. Each day i promise to try and build up to something new, hopefully wiser and stronger than i was. It takes thinks like what happened tonight, noobs talking shit, and people who like you to make you realize who you wanna be.

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